It was better than going to an all-you-can-eat ribfest.My wish was my command.For years I had watched that show, I Dream of Jeannie, with Barbara Eden, and whenever Jeannie was on the television, I always wished she'd take off all her clothes so I could just see what she looked like naked.That was why I always hated television.No matter how loud I screamed at the set, no one ever took her clothes off on TV.Never.I think back to all the women I watched on TV who I desperately wanted to see naked; there were a lot of them actually: Marlo Thomas looked like she had a really great ass, tight and sassy; I'd have given anything to watch Mary Tyler Moore soap herself in the shower; Angie Dickinson looked so sexy I'd have done anything to nail her; she played a policewoman but she didn't look like any cop I'd ever seen; I had the hots for Susan St. James, who played opposite Rock Hudson in McMillan and Wife.She played the wife.She knew she was safe being in the same bed with Rock.If that had been me, she wouldn't have slept so much.There was one show that had three girls I dreamed of having in bed together.It was called Charlie's Angels, and I'd watch them skipping along, chasing "criminals" and I'd dream of Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson, and the other one with the great bod all in bed with me naked.I saw myself making love to – what was the name of the third one? – while Farrah rubbed me with that big head of hair while at the same time the other one rubbed her breasts all over me. Later on, I developed a fixation on Heather Locklear.She played a cop, but to me she was a combination hooker and girl next door.I wanted to see her naked so bad, I went and bought Penthouse magazine and I would even take her into the bathroom and pretend to have sex with her.And yet, looking back, none of them ever compared to Barbara Eden. She had the high-pitched voice, and she'd wiggle her shoulders at Larry Hagman, trying to help him get out of trouble, and all thatnitwit wanted her to do was disappear and leave him alone!She'd leave in a puff of smoke, and I'd be screaming at the TV, "You asshole.Tell her to come back, but tell her to leave the costume back in the bottle so we can see those great tits!"I dug Barbara Eden so much.Whenever she wore that genie costume it always gave me an erection.
I'm telling you this, because looking back, when I first laid eyes on the Heavenly Twins, they looked just like Barbara Eden, except that they had dark hair, and when they began to take off all their clothes, it was like a dream come true for me.
After that magic experience with the Heavenly Twins, for years Iwould yell at the TV, "Jeannie, take off your clothes, godddamn it,"because I wanted to experience those twins again and again.
To me just seeing the twins naked, with their flat stomachs and those perky inviting breasts, that was the most memorable part of the evening, though the rest of it was pretty terrific too.